I do believe the reason that we have decided that Merian teenagers
should be the ones to tend to the parks and trees is to give them
something to do and to instil a work ethic into their lazy backsides.
Perhaps we could assign a new head to the Department of Parks and
Recreation, though I believe it would have to be someone who will only
eat meat, to prevent any grazing in our green spaces.

Penned by my hand on the 11th of Vestian, in the year 379 CE.