Late last month I lost my head and freaked out. This is my apology to the Goddess of Light.
I don't make excuses for the mistake I made; a lot of stress had been building up too quickly and I snapped. I am aware that I have problems with my head; I've been working on them for years. That was not me there. I do not act like this normally, I am so sorry for the stupid childish worthless behavior I exuded that night. Vender and my sister have both told me they are not being manipulated by Lady Aurora like I had believed; I know that what they say is true. I should not be blaming someone's decisions and actions on another, certainly not one of the Divine. I have never interacted with Her before; I do not know how She treats people but I have heard She is wonderful.

I am so sorry for the things I was saying. Terrible words parted these black lips, directing my own anger and vitriol towards a Being who was not the real cause. I was livid, out of control, out of my head. I was not me in those moments. I desperately searched for a statue of Her to speak to Her directly; I am glad I did not find one. I know words don't fix actions. I have been out of control for too long and people I love very dearly are concerned for me and don't want to deal with the sickness in my head. I am going to be changing aspects of myself because of this. When I get that angry, I will depart the realms and awaken later calmly, or I will isolate myself somewhere and vent privately.

I hope to have the opportunity to apologize directly to Lady Aurora herself some day; even though I know She can hear and see all that I do. I lost control, I did and said stupid things I know I don't truly mean in my heart. I am so sorry for the awful display that I was that night.

There is no excuse for what is wrong with me. I will fix it and move forward.

Penned by my hand on the 9th of Sarapin, in the year 757 AF.