Sorry I'm Late For Our Date

Date: 09/26/2012 at 03:02
From: Disciple Mystara Innagari, of the First Order
To : Bluef Shayan'Kor, the Somnolent Wytch
Subj: Sorry I'm Late For Our Date

I don't care for your sweeping
this place is still a dump,
take your broom out of here
or you'll find it up your rump.

Kitchens aren't bad, yes
I do like fish head stew,
last time I ate I noticed,
my it looks just like you!

Oh I must agree,
It can be a way to a man's heart
but i find more responsive
a more intimate part.

Even with my skin,
as weak as a rag,
you couldn't poke a hole
through the weakest canvas bag.

If you like fresh pig,
on your arm you must sup,
wouldn't that be grand,
my sweet little buttercup?

Some friends share hugs
or lovely bags of feed
but with a friend like you
what enemies would I need?

Your dress adds on some pounds
I'd lay off of the wine,
if I didn't know better,
you ate a poor Divine.

Now let's have a girls night,
I'm gonna need those drinks,
and a word of advice honey,
that breath of yours, IT STINKS!

Penned by my hand on the 16th of Aeguary, in the year 607 AF.